The 26 Pound Gummy Bear. Fear Its Awesomeness.

It’s here. Hopefully you haven’t been waiting for it, but the “Party Bear” has arrived. Yup, it’s a 26 pound gummy bear. That’s the size of my 3 year old boy. Whoever thought of this is part genius, part psycho, and clearly overrated for his/her job.

The giant gummy packs a whopping 32,000 calories and has a one year shelf life. It even comes with its own case – or is that a coffin? You’ll soon need one too if you decide to satisfy your corn syrup craving.

What else is there to say other than it comes in four flavors – raspberry, orange, red cherry, and (WHAT?) green apple. 26 pounds of green apple is just wrong. And I was so close to clicking ‘buy.’